One of the wedding blogs I've come to really appreciate is 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding, a blog for the rest of us brides. I can count on the author to provide sane commentary on the wedding planning and interesting ideas for projects. A recent post gave the suggestion of DIY vases made out of recycled wine bottles. I love this. I've actually been collecting Bombay gin bottles for a while because I've wanted to make vases out of them, but as you can imagine it's a slow growing collection. Wine bottles would be much easier to accumulate in bulk for our wedding.

Hmm... now I am seriously considering the use of recycled wine bottle votives. Perhaps I should try making a couple and seeing 1. how easy it is to make them and 2. how they look when illuminated with tea lights (lest the green glow make everyone look queasy)....

I was telling some colleagues about our registry victory with the simple stoneware, and it turns out that the Washington Post had published an article that same day about the trend among modern brides away from registering for formal china. I'd sniff about being part of a generational movement, except that I really think this represents the best choice for us.

Plus, I still have my fantasy of collecting a complete mismatched set of cobalt and white dinnerware from thrift stores and garage sales. Incidentally, mixed china patterns were the theme of ANOTHER Washington Post article published yesterday.

Bah! I may be trendy, but someday people will rather enjoy eating dinner in our coral colored dining room off either the Mikasa swirl dinnerware or the funky blue thrift store set!

Ok, this is not wedding related at all, but this is why the world swoons over Alex Ovechkin:



The man passes himself the puck by banking it off the wall behind his opponent, falls onto his back and shoots it into the goal while sliding across the ice. He begins celebrating while on his back! (Thanks, Adam, for telling me all about this goal and letting me replay it again and again)

Today Adam and I played hooky from work. This is something that we try to do once or twice a year -- we each take the day off work and we arrange to go on some sort of adventure, whether it be wine tasting or driving through the countryside. Today we planned to finally watch the Washington Capitals hockey team practice but, alas, when we got to their practice rink (located above a mall) all we saw were figure skaters. What a disappointment.

We made the best of the situation and headed downstairs to get coffee and check out the china patterns at Macy's. We're not actually registered at Macy's (we opted for the convenience of Amazon.com), but we wanted to see all these china patterns in person before committing to a set.

Picking out china patterns is intimidating, because in theory we'll be eating off these plates for the next fifty years, then passing them on to our imaginary grandkids. China sets are an investment and, for me, having enough matching dishes and serveware to host Thanksgiving dinner represents some heretofore unknown level of adulthood. Other levels of adulthood have included going to a movie by myself (Pacific Heights, in high school), having framed pictures on the wall (grad school, Spanish tourism posters), and taking my first business trip (Safety Counts training in Miami, Florida).

I think the problem with most china patterns is that they are so much fussier than Adam and me. It's not that we don't want to host nice dinner parties, but platinum/gold bands and delicate tea cups with matching saucers have very little to do with our more earthy style. At the same time, we're getting married. Shouldn't we be stepping it up a little? Will Adam's pork chops in a blackberry-thyme port wine sauce with crisp haricot verts taste even better on matching plates?

Well, I'm happy to report that we have found a set of dishes that we can use for both everyday dining and formal parties. Meet the Mikasa Swirl. Cream-colored stoneware, modern and simple, with a jaunty asymmetric bowl that's perfect for salad, cereal and ice cream. And large mugs for people who enjoy their coffee and keep their pinky fingers down while sipping tea.

It may seem silly, but it feels really good to have that decision made. Now we just need to find an agreeable set of silverware.... sigh!

This is the sort of thing nightmares are made of. I hope this is a fake.... Of course, if it isn't, these two might have the best wedding video ever. And, most likely, a near limitless supply of favors from the best man...

As you know, I have been struggling mightily trying to come up with ideas for centerpieces that don't involve the services of a celebrity florist yet have a sense of style of their own. I was blog-surfing the other night when I came across this picture first published in Offbeat Bride:

I was instantly smitten. What a simple happy idea to incorporate books -- and our house is overflowing with them. Even better, we could donate all these books after the wedding!

I showed Adam the pic and he expressed his support, which I take to be a very good sign (most of the time when I pitch ideas at him, he kinda nods and says if I want to do it it's fine). Adam was even cool with donating the books to prisons, either through Books Through Bars or Books to Prisons. (Insert ball and chain jokes here.)

I'm really happy with this idea, and think we'll likely run with it. Now we just need to find room in the house to gather boxes of books suitable for donation... :) If any of you have books you'd like to contribute to our centerpieces, please pass them along! These are the types of books that Books to Prisons is looking for:

1. Dictionaries (English, Spanish-English)
2. Atlases and almanacs
3. Learning a language (especially Spanish)
4. How-to (especially woodworking, plumbing, gardening, car mechanics, small motor repair)
5. Science and nature (including magazines like Discover)
6. Personal finance or starting a business
7. Drawing or art
8. Math or GED preparation
9. Computers or electronics (including up-to-date magazines)
   
10. Law
11. American Indians, Mayans, or Aztecs
12. African American, Latin American, or classical (Roman, Greek) history
13. Fiction: westerns, sci-fi, fantasy, horror/thrillers, African American authors

Now I just need to find a few rolls of pretty ribbon, and work out our table numbering system... yay!

So yesterday we drove up to ThorpeWood for our tasting, an event we viewed with both excitement and ambivalence. In reality, I didn't really care whether or not we had a tasting, but I was very concerned that the caterer tell me all the logistical details I was responsible for taking care of in the coming months.

To my mind, we already had our caterer and we had already selected dishes off her extensive list of menu options, so why did we need to taste? After all, she's the house caterer -- even if the food were awful, it's not like we would be going with anyone else! Nonetheless, I looked forward to sampling the different foods, and I was keen to break my diet and try my requested carrot cupcakes.

Attending this tasting reminded me of the time I went to a Passover Seder in college. I wasn't Jewish, but I knew it was a Big Deal, loaded with tradition, and I was praying that there would be enough context cues that I wouldn't look like a total ass. Yesterday, as back in college, I inadvertently sat nearest to the host, which meant that all dishes passed by me first. I felt like I ought to know what I was doing, but I didn't so I concentrated on the food. I think I faked it okay.

We sampled the soup shooters and gourmet bruschettas, a couple salads, and a few entrees. We passed the plates around and commented on what we liked and didn't of the options. We even made a few changes off our original selections. Overall, I was quite pleased. The catering staff was great; I wonder how it is for them to work with so many diverse couples and their families -- they must see the gamut.

After the plates were scraped clean, the caterer asked us our wedding colors and wedding theme, and Adam and I looked at each other and giggled nervously. By the time he was asking us to pick out tablecloths, napkins and china I was overwhelmed, and thinking back I'm already planning to reverse all of my original decisions. Whoops. Forgot to request the Red Rider BB gun when I had the chance. Thankfully, I really like our catering team and I think they'll be supportive.

So, in the end, I have to say it was kinda thrilling to get a taste of our wedding. Somehow, those small bites put the day a little closer to my imagination. My only disappointment is that we didn't get to sample our cupcakes. Drat! Perhaps when we met up with them again in September...

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Here is a really touching video that was created in response to an effort made by Ken Starr and others to overturn the same-sex marriages that were granted during those halcyon months when California had equitable marriage laws.

Click the links above to sign a petition and show your support for all these married couples.

Hey, looks like we're going to be spending the weekend with the Obamas! Well, ok, they're going to Camp David and we're going to do a tasting at the wedding venue just down the road, but it's still kinda cool. I wonder if traffic on that sleepy little mountain road will be impacted? I wonder if this will give us a sense of what it might be like if the Obamas decide to vacation at Camp David during our wedding weekend! Hopefully it's no big deal. My office is a couple blocks from the White House, and let me tell you, the police are downright nasty when clearing the roadways for the Presidential motorcade to pass.

These days, with the world being our oyster, the most satisfying action in the planning process is eliminating options. There is poetry in the words "No thanks, we'll pass." Adam and I were walking through the supermarket discussing for the umpteenth time whether we should purchase champagne versus cava versus prosecco for the toast , and it hit us -- why are we even bothering with this? Do we really care the shape of the glass or its contents when it comes to toasting? No!

And so we decided: If people want to raise a glass, they can raise the glass containing the beverage they most prefer.

And then we shared a celebratory fist bump in the wine aisle, much like our beloved President and First Lady (who, incidentally, make marriage look hot).

Gotta love Achewood... Click image to enlarge.

The wedding planning process from start to finish involves a thousand little cuts--er, decisions... These decisions range from venue to flowers to custom-designed coat-check slips (I kid you not). Superficially, of course, I am told that we must identify a theme, be it a color, concept, font, barnyard animal, blah blah blah... Without this organizing concept, I am told, our wedding risks slipping into the sleepy grave of the unimaginative and unmemorable. God help our marriage.

More and more often, I'm seeing weddings as brand. Polished couples imprint their wedding concept on everything from personalized pencils to cocktail napkins to bridesmaid undergarments. Every detail is magazine-ready, and I can't help but wonder (unless the couples work in graphic design) if the bride has been working on her wedding since elementary school -- refining, refining until just the right groom came along. Perhaps it's an inverse Cinderella, and she waits by the window until she finds the perfect groom upon whom she can slip the hand-tailored tux unaltered...

I confess I am drawn to the coordinated weddings with visual and thematic coherence from STDs (that's save-the-dates, for you, dear readers) to send off. I have spent more than two decades pouring over home design magazines admiring similar aesthetic discipline. Perhaps it's a fault of my imagination, maybe it's the ADD, but I can't seem to keep to one overarching Wedding Vision. The details that delight me are diffuse and varied. With nine months to go, who knows what my eventual wedding will look like?! Nonetheless, I know what I do enjoy about planning a wedding celebration:

1. In the end, no matter how many things go wrong, chances are I'll be married to Adam by the end of the weekend. (I'll give it till Tuesday when the courthouse opens).
   
2. This may be the first and last time we get all of our parents and all of our closest friends and relatives together under one roof to break bread. It will be such a chaotic, intergenerational mess that it can't help but be fun.
   
3. So often, when I'm contemplating wedding details, I'm thinking of particular friends. I am thinking about my mom admiring the door handles in the bathrooms (you'll see), the fall foliage for Val, the stamps for Moose and Amy's invites, the many birds for Michele and Charlie, and so forth... It is imagining their reactions to these little details that gives me joy.
4. The Wedding Weekend. I look forward to all our many parents playing board games and drinking wine and getting to know one another. Our families are so different, but I also imagine a crazy compatibility being discovered. I see Carole and Toni thick as thieves. There is a reason why Adam and I fell in love, and it has everything to do with the people who raised us.

Tonight I went out for errands and dinner with Pamela, inundating her with my latest musings. She pointed out that a current theme of ours may be "education." Can education be a theme? I have seen couples pull of beautiful and clever schoolhouse themes, but perhaps we will look at a different facet of our educations and growth as individuals, and now together as a team?