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TGIF

Clearly we have a lot of work to do on our vows... ;-)

We snuck off tonight for a decadent, carb-heavy dinner at Rustico in Alexandria, Virginia. Rustico is known for its amazing beer list, which includes 30 taps and more than 300 bottled beers and ciders. Along the way, we discovered a promising new brewery from Quebec: Le Trou du Diable. We tried a couple of their brews, the Weizgripp Doppelweizenbock and a smoked beer called La Consumation. Both yummy.

As is often the case when we get together these days, conversation turned to wedding items yet on The List. Pessimists' version: We're doomed. Optimists' version: Good thing our goal is a simple fun wedding!
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Pre-Wedding Barbecue at Pinecliff Park

On Saturday, October 10, we're having a pre-wedding barbecue at Pinecliff Park, located just off I-70 in Frederick, Maryland. We have reserved covered shelter #2, which boasts several grills, a horseshoe pit (but we need the shoes!), and plenty of lawn and playground equipment. The site is also next to a boat launch and fishing on the Monocacy river, if you'd like to bring a canoe and pole. There is even a short nature trail for birders and naturalists! Come one, come all!

Who: You, hopefully! We would love to see your family and friends too.

When: 3pm till nightfall


Where: 8350 Pinecliff Park Road, Frederick, MD 21704 (click to open Google Map)

Adam and Jenny will supply hamburgers, hot dogs, plates and silverware. It would be helpful if others brought salad(s), drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic), fruit or desserts to share. If everyone brings enough food for themselves plus four, no one will go hungry. You can leave a comment below describing what you're planning to bring.

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Practically Friday Comic Blogging

Pearls Before Swine
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Camp Dreamcatcher

As many of you know, each summer Adam and I volunteer as camp counselors at Camp Dreamcatcher, a summer camp for kids infected or affected by HIV. It's definitely one of the most rewarding things that we do each year, even as it is one of the most challenging (and hilarious and exhausting and fun). Still, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Today we got our cabin assignments, and my anticipation for the first day of camp is overwhelming (i.e., I had already started buying gifts for my girls, coming up with cabin themes, and making my packing list a few weeks ago). Adam is going to be heading a cabin of 12-year-old boys, and I'll have my hands full with a new group of 14-year-old girls. Too much fun!

Camp Dreamcatcher is a special place, not least of which because it offers a safe space for children struggling with hard issues to just be kids. This year, Camp
Dreamcatcher is putting out a special call for donations for Bow
, a 14-year-old girl from Thailand who suffers from HIV and debilitating facial deformities. She has the opportunity to return to camp this year and then have reconstructive facial surgery in Texas... provided that we can raise $40,000 to cover her medical bills. Please watch the video below and get to know Bow. If you can donate to help out Bow or support Camp Dreamcatcher, that would be amazing.



Bow came to Camp Dreamcatcher as a result of a serendipitous turn of events. Two summers ago, documentary filmmakers came to camp to paint a portrait of AIDS orphans in the United States. They had already been to orphanages in Uganda, Brazil, and Thailand, and then they chose to spend the week with us at Camp Dreamcatcher. The director, Robert Corna, and the videographer, Renzo Spirit Buffalo, made fast friends of campers as they filmed Tiny Tears. Then, last summer, one child from each orphanage was sponsored to come to the United States to attend Camp Dreamcatcher. Talk about a golden ticket!

Jethro, the boy from Uganda (in the orange shirt), was in Adam's cabin last year. Adam can tell you great stories of the cross-cultural exchange. With any luck, one of these days we'll be able to go visit him in Uganda!
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Judging An Invite By Its Cover

The wedding invitations are almost done! It's been a process, but I'm really excited to be putting them in the mail on Monday. I had a bit of a crisis addressing them, once I realized that my handwriting was no good and not likely to improve (see image at right). I'd long been told (and believed) that it was important to address wedding invitations by hand, because a hand written invitation was a signal to guests that you cared about them. Indeed, a piece of correspondence with a printed label was as good as junk mail.

As I practiced writing lines, I remembered the time I got my first 'C' in school... in third grade... in handwriting. That 'C' stung. Later, in high school, I would go on to earn an 'A' in keyboarding. Really, keyboarding is where it's at for me, and it was time that I owned that.

I called my stepmother and asked for absolution for what I was about to do. Then I called Adam's parents and asked for their help. We headed over to their home and got to work. Adam and his mother carefully assembled the invitations, gluing a brown backing onto the invitation to give it more heft and style. Meanwhile, Adam's father and I set about printing our guests' addresses on the envelopes. It was a good night. Looking at the finished, printed envelopes... I regret nothing.

When Adam and I got home, we began sorting the large collection of vintage stamps I'd purchased on eBay and others that my mother contributed, trying to find combinations that were either aesthetically pleasing or relevant to our guests. I've spent a quiet Saturday affixing the stamps to envelopes using rubber cement. It's been really pleasant, both for the opportunity to dig through these relics of postal history, and to meditate on the interests and personal histories of each of our guests. In the picture to the left, you can see how the fully assembled invitations look.

These invitations were very much a family affair; in fact, every single person in both of our immediate families contributed to their design and execution. I'm so grateful to them, and very happy with the result.
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Surprise Wedding Reception



How great is this? Anyone want to take over reception planning for us? Ideally our friends and loved ones? :)

This is definitely a more altruistic endeavor than Improv Everywhere's annual No Pants Subway Ride...
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Another Awesome Wedding Music Video

Fresh Hubby of LA from Digital Princess Productions on Vimeo.

Props to the couple for paying homage to the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff stylins'...

On our wedding front, things are moving forward slowly but surely. My parents took my wedding dress to the shop to be cleaned and prepped and sent to Adam's parents' house (!!!). The invites have arrived from the printer and look good, but I still need to address them and then Adam and I will work together to stamp them (using the vintage stamps again, and customizing them to recipients where possible). We've been talking music and logistics, photography and rehearsal luncheon. All TBD. We're giving ourselves a deadline of next Sunday for a number of projects:
  1. Getting the invitations in the mail
  2. Writing our vows
  3. Ordering our hand calligraphed wedding certificate
Wish us luck! Yesterday was 3 months to W-Day!
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The Country of Marriage, by Wendell Berry

I.

I dream of you walking at night along the streams
of the country of my birth, warm blooms and the nightsongs
of birds opening around you as you walk.
You are holding in your body the dark seed of my sleep.

II.

This comes after silence. Was it something I said
that bound me to you, some mere promise
or, worse, the fear of loneliness and death?
A man lost in the woods in the dark, I stood
still and said nothing. And then there rose in me,
like the earth's empowering brew rising
in root and branch, the words of a dream of you
I did not know I had dreamed. I was a wanderer
who feels the solace of his native land
under his feet again and moving in his blood.
I went on, blind and faithful. Where I stepped
my track was there to steady me. It was no abyss
that lay before me, but only the level ground.

III.

Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the light to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in.

IV.

How many times have I come to you out of my head
with joy, if ever a man was,
for to approach you I have given up the light
and all directions. I come to you
lost, wholly trusting as a man who goes
into the forest unarmed. It is as though I descend
slowly earthward out of the air. I rest in peace
in you, when I arrive at last.

V.

Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange
of my love and work for yours, so much for so much
of an expendable fund. We don't know what its limits are--
that puts us in the dark. We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.
Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing
a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only
accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light
enough to live, and then accepts the dark,
passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I
have fallen tine and again from the great strength
of my desire, helpless, into your arms.

VI.

What I am learning to give you is my death
to set you free of me, and me from myself
into the dark and the new light. Like the water
of a deep stream, love is always too much. We
did not make it. Though we drink till we burst
we cannot have it all, or want it all.
In its abundance it survives our thirst.
In the evening we come down to the shore
to drink our fill, and sleep, while it
flows through the regions of the dark.
It does not hold us, except we keep returning
to its rich waters thirsty. We enter,
willing to die, into the commonwealth of its joy.

VII.

I give you what is unbounded, passing from dark to dark,
containing darkness: a night of rain, an early morning.
I give you the life I have let live for the love of you:
a clump of orange-blooming weeds beside the road,
the young orchard waiting in the snow, our own life
that we have planted in the ground, as I
have planted mine in you. I give you my love for all
beautiful and honest women that you gather to yourself
again and again, and satisfy--and this poem,
no more mine than any man's who has loved a woman.
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Musical Interlude


Definitely feeling escapist today... I think Adam and I are both very much looking forward to the being married part of getting married. This song reminds me of some of our recent conversations...
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Our Wedding Ceremony

One of the things we have struggled with through the planning process has been the structure of our wedding ceremony. We have been researching traditions from across faiths and around the world, looking for ways to structure the service both to allow broad participation of guests and to reflect the interweaving of our diverse histories. Along the way, we began hearing about unprogrammed Quaker weddings and were immediately intrigued.

In a traditional Quaker wedding, a man and woman declare their commitment to one another in a simple ceremony with their faith community as witnesses. The ceremony is strikingly different from most Western weddings, as there is no officiant, no music, no escorted processional, no wedding party, and no decorations. In addition, like a Quaker Meeting for Worship, a Quaker wedding is conducted largely in an atmosphere of silent worship. Guests may arise to share prayers or reflections as the Spirit moves them. Similarly, the couple arise to exchange their promises to one another when they are so moved and they marry themselves. The couple then signs the Quaker Marriage Certificate, and after the worship the guests also sign the certificate as witnesses to the union.

The simplicity of Quaker weddings and the opportunities for the community to participate in the ceremony held strong appeal for Adam and me, and so we decided to use them as an inspiration. While most of our ceremony will look familiar to our guests, there will be a period of quiet meditation and worship, during which time we invite guests who are so inclined to share a joyful or solemn prayer, poem, song or reflection for the occasion. Periods of silence between contributions are expected and desired, and guests should not feel compelled to speak. We will take our vows and exchange rings at the conclusion of the unprogrammed portion.

Although we're a little nervous about (un)structuring our ceremony, we also welcome the opportunity to let our guests write the program, and we relish the potential for surprise and wonder. Plus, the thought of sitting outdoors in happy silence with one hundred of the people we love best in the world just fills my heart with joy.

Again, we encourage our guests to participate in our wedding day. If you have any special poems or readings you would like to share, please bring them along. If the thought of public speaking fills you with dread, however, your quiet presence and support is also cherished.
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Bathroom Meditation


Adam shows me the dangerous places my blue and white china obsession can lead...
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Friday Comic Blogging


Yes, our next project is to work on our vows. Heaven help us.
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Order! Order!

Whew! The invites have been ordered! Now I get to spend the holiday weekend anxiously awaiting their arrival from the printers. We are having them printed through an online print shop, and so I'm really nervous because I don't know how they'll turn out. Well, I hope! To the left you have a glimpse of the image we had printed -- with any luck the colors will be true and it won't look cheesy. (Please, oh please, don't look cheesy!!) This whole process is definitely stressful, and I have to keep reminding myself that pretty much everyone but our parents and Adam and me will be tossing their invites into the trash on October 12, so I shouldn't sweat it. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

Like the Save-the-Dates, this invitation is a collaborative effort from my talented family. My father did the illustrations, all of us worked to pick out our favorite fonts and tweak the text, and my brother scanned the images, re-colored them, and put all the graphic layers together. If nothing else, it makes me really happy that our invites are so personal to us. Ok, keep your fingers crossed that there are no problems with the order!
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October 11, 2009

  • About
      Wedding planning is overwhelming. Jenny put together this blog as a way to let off steam, and give parents and guests a window into the planning process. If you're the type of person who enjoys DVD extras and director commentaries, then this is the blog for you. For the rest of you, this might be like seeing how sausage is made!
  • Blog Archive

    • ▼  2009 (67)
      • ►  October (2)
      • ►  September (9)
      • ►  August (6)
      • ▼  July (13)
        • TGIF
        • Pre-Wedding Barbecue at Pinecliff Park
        • Practically Friday Comic Blogging
        • Camp Dreamcatcher
        • Judging An Invite By Its Cover
        • Surprise Wedding Reception
        • Another Awesome Wedding Music Video
        • The Country of Marriage, by Wendell Berry
        • Musical Interlude
        • Our Wedding Ceremony
        • Bathroom Meditation
        • Friday Comic Blogging
        • Order! Order!
      • ►  June (10)
      • ►  May (2)
      • ►  April (4)
      • ►  March (7)
      • ►  February (12)
      • ►  January (2)
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