Adam and I had fun this weekend addressing and stamping the save-the-date postcards with his parents. It was a long process that turned into a two-day event. We're using vintage stamps that I found on eBay for all our mailings, which has resulted in hours of fun sorting through the different images and thinking of friends that they would be perfect for. For postcards, this was quite tricky as we could only use 2-3 stamps per card and the values needed to add up to at least 27 cents.

Memo to self: Order large envelopes for the actual invitations.

Our save-the-dates are intended to be casual little announcements of our upcoming nuptials; for example, in the design we used a handwriting font, and my name is listed as "Jenny" rather than "Jennifer." Still, when it came time to addressing the cards themselves we were stymied. Would older relatives or amateur etiquette coaches be offended if we addressed them without a Mr. or Mrs.? Should we list Bills as Williams, or include the names of children? Does it matter what gender order we use for couples? What do we do when a wife's last name is a hyphenate?

In the end we opted for informal, and hopefully no one is deeply offended (if they are, just wait till they hear about the online RSVPs!). In the meantime, we're clearly going to have to read up on the ins and outs of proper salutations on invitations...

A new study suggests that while people claim to want to find their opposite in a partner, in reality they prefer mates who are more like them than different. Strength of preference for specific traits differed along gender lines:

"The study also found that in addition to looking for a similar partner, women wanted men who were conscientious, outgoing, and emotionally stable, all traits that indicate an investment in the relationship and in any potential children."

Conversely, men didn't evince a preference for any particular traits in women. I'll leave that to you to figure out what that indicates.

All in all, nothing in the reported study results seems too surprising, but I'm in a reflective mood about relationships so I found it interesting nonetheless. I do think that Adam and I share many interests, traits and fundamental values, and perhaps for that reason he felt familiar to me from the start. At the same time, the ways in which we are "opposites" have always felt like opportunities for learning and growth. Speaking shallowly, Adam has quite a lot to teach me about sports and grilling. More profoundly, I think I value certain traits that he possesses in spades next to me. These include his desire to understand the natures and motivations of the people with whom he interacts, the wisdom he shows in utilizing that understanding before acting, and his consistent consideration of the needs and feelings of those around him. I'm a lucky girl.

The ideas for our centerpieces are coming together slowly but surely. One day during my vacation, my parents surprised me by putting together a mock-up of our centerpieces while I was out. They made this table concept based on ideas I'd been tossing around: stacks of books, LED tea lights (no open flames allowed at ThorpeWood), fall colors, bookmarks, pictures of my great great grandfather and quilting fabrics. Apparently they had a lot of fun playing with my casually mentioned possibilities, and they spent the afternoon trying everything from drilling through books and small logs (I kid you not) to creating sample bookmark wedding favors out of recycled manila folders.

When I walked through the door they pulled me into the dining room to show me their efforts, unsure of whether or not I would approve. They seemed surprised to find out that I loved what they had done, but oh did I! Even though some of the specific elements still need to be decided, purchased, found or created, we have a concept. It's not a traditional centerpiece, but it's personal to us and both of our families will be involved in the execution of this concept. What could be better?

One of the primary missions of my recent trip to Seattle (aside from spending some quality time with my family) was working on our wedding paper products. Early on, I had a little fantasy that my dad would contribute some of his art to the wedding project. When I was a child, there were few things I loved more than watching him draw. He could draw any person, place, or thing I could think of, and I would exclaim over what I liked and loudly protest what I didn't. During family vacations, then and still now, my dad sits at the picnic table with his art supplies and illustrates our adventures of the day. I've always been tickled that I have a cartoon character that is me, even if the portrayal hasn't always been the most flattering (ahem).

Above is an image of our save-the-date postcard. I had asked my dad to draw a colorful picture of fall trees, with a relatively simple design. I confess part of me felt like a kid on vacation again watching him experiment with different ideas. He created the image of the trees with fountain pen and water colors, and my task mistress stepmother called us throughout the day from work to make sure that we were actually working on the invites and not goofing off (we worked out a balance). Later, my tech maven brother scanned the final design and helped me get the text sorted out, and my sister-in-law, a wedding planner in the making, gave final design approval.

Adam and I are sending these save-the-dates to our out-of-town family and friends so that they can make their travel arrangements in good time. The neurotic in me with the color-coded Outlook calendar and items scheduled eight months in advance appreciates this new nuptial tradition, but I confess to dreading trying to maintain neat handwriting on the addresses. Thankfully, Adam's mother has generously offered to help me address the postcards this weekend. Whew!

This week I came to Seattle to work on some wedding planning details with my parents, and it's been great. On Friday I went on a marathon wedding dress shopping spree with my two moms, my godmother, my sister-in-law, and my aunt. They were tireless. They gleefully pulled dress after dress from the racks, and I dutifully tried on each and every one. Sometimes three times, just to be sure. We went to four bridal shops (three of them actually open), and I'm sure I tried on forty dresses. I was a princess, a Hollywood diva, a Spanish flamenco dancer, a Greek goddess... My head was spinning, and at a certain point even shutting the dressing room door seemed futile.

I tried on so many beautiful gowns, and I was torn because I knew I would have been very happy marrying in several of them. I felt paralyzed by indecision. Choosing Adam for a husband was a no-brainer, but picking the wedding dress was going to give me an ulcer.

Around 6:30pm we broke for martinis, a welcome relief. It was great to have spent the day with my ladies, but I wanted to sleep on the dress decision.

Sleeping on it lasted till about 5:30am, when I gave up on the bed and opted for lifting weights and speed-walking on the treadmill. I had one dress that I just kept coming back to in my imagination, but I needed to be sure. My very indulgent father and stepmother went back to the bridal shop with me on Saturday morning when the store opened, and we bought the dress that woke *me* up at dawn.

So I feel really good. I got to show the dress off some for my family at my dad's birthday party, and I got to spend some time with it over the weekend. We bonded. Now it is safely hidden away in my parents' closet, and so I offer you a glimpse of my father's interpretation of me as a bride in the image above. We wanted Adam to have a picture of me in "my dress"...

Did I mention my dad is a part-time cartoonist?

I finally posted pictures of ThorpeWood so that people can get a sense of what our beautiful venue is like! These pics were taken over three different visits to the site, during three very different weather systems: pouring down rain, after an ice storm, after a snow... I can't wait to see what it's like with the fall foliage in bloom!

Here we have Adam practicing walking down the aisle in the "Pine Cathedral." We're pretty sold on this spot for the ceremony, although we have our choice of anywhere on ThorpeWood's 155-acre property. I like the Pine Cathedral for several reasons, not least of which that the seating is already built so we won't have to rent chairs. Plus, it's so beautiful and serene that just being there uplifts the spirit.