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Adam and Jenny Get Married: The Blog

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Animoto.com

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Our Wedding Photos!!!

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We've Got a Honeymoon!

Adam booked our flights today! I look forward to long walks, crisp weather, full scarves, and hot, thick cups of chocolat. Conveniently, we will be in Paris during its annual Salon Du Chocolat... Carbs, oh how I miss you!
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You shoulda put a ring on it!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.


Not strictly wedding related, but too funny not to share. :)
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You Saw It Here First

Spread the word!
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Foliage Watch

As of 5 days ago, the Weather Channel reports less than 10% foliage change for Maryland. Sigh. Will keep checking back. Leaves gotta change, right?

Addendum: Click the image and it should take you to the most recent foliage map available.
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Wedding Dress Anxiety

Tomorrow I have dress fitting #2 with Fred the Tailor. I'm a little nervous. For one, apparently I have given up on dieting. For two, Fred the Tailor will have cut an inch and a half off the bottom of my dress, and I'm hoping he did a good job. I'll be wearing very high heels, of course, but still they were not high enough. Fred was insistent -- the dress would need to be cut. I imagine this is how new mothers feel when getting their sons circumcised (or maybe they don't feel like this at all). In any case, I am guilty and worried. I'm beginning to wonder why I didn't buy extreme platform shoes at a specialty shop, just to spare my dress the agony and risk of mutilation.

Adam will be getting his suit altered tomorrow too, and yet somehow I don't think he's so worried about what Fred will do to his inseam. Hm.

It is a red letter day in wedding land for us though:
  • Adam's wedding ring arrived, it's just the one he wanted, and it fits;
  • Adam's wedding morning cuff links arrived and they're perfect (not spilling details here, since their design is supposed to be a surprise for him);
  • Adam confirmed with our DJ, so at least the music portion of the party is on;
  • Adam finally got a hold of the calligrapher and ordered our Quaker-style wedding certificate;
  • I put together a good workable draft of our seating chart; and,
  • We got to discuss our ceremony with Parker, our friend and officiant.
Now we just have everything else to do.
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Making Use of Adam's Wingspan at ThorpeWood



So good to get out to ThorpeWood again, and so exciting to think we will be marrying there in less than 3 weeks! When we were there a week ago (when we took these pics) just a few leaves were changing... here's hoping that the foliage is a riot of color come October 11!
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Exactly One Month Till W-Day!

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We've Got Wedding Rings!

Well, ok, I've had my ring(s) for a while... But -- I finally bought Adam's ring and it should be in the mail! It will be magnificent: a 7mm, comfort fit, half round, 14k yellow gold wedding ring. To the naked eye this may appear to be a standard wedding band, but let there be no doubt that this ring has been lovingly and carefully selected. Before arriving at these exact specifications, Adam tried on dozens of rings at various jewelers. He has never worn jewelry, and wanted to make sure that the ring he would wear for The Rest of His Life was just right.

Here we are, one step symbolically closer to a life-long union.

We have made progress on other wedding fronts as well. Last night we went to Adam's parents' house for a dress fitting with Fred the Tailor. The verdict: the dress is beautiful, but I am too short. Even in 4-inch heels, Fred still thinks I need to lose 1.5 inches off the bottom. Sigh. Never fear, Adam did *not* see the dress, or me in it. We are the sort of people who like surprises.

We now have 4.5 weeks till W-day. World is spinning pretty quickly...
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The Laundry List

Adam and I are drowning in laundry. We have a pretty good system for dealing with dirty laundry: we leave it at the top of the stairs each night, and in the morning when I go to wake the cats and give them breakfast I put it in the washer. I even remember to transfer wet laundry into the dryer (a task no longer on Adam's list due to hard-won experience). But that is where our system breaks down -- no one actually carries the clean items back upstairs and puts them away.

This is a source of struggle for us. Mountains of fresh clothes and towels are stacked on top of the dryer until they topple to the floor, and/or one of us caves and carries a load or three upstairs (and throws them on the guest room bed).

The laundry situation is problematic, because I think this is an area where Adam and I are most similar. We are good at starting projects, but we are not good at finishing them. Neck-deep in the mother of all DIY projects--The Wedding--this is worrisome.

I have been reworking the Wedding To Do List, eliminating some items and adding others. In the less than six weeks before the wedding, we have a full page of line items to take care of, from the superficial (bunting, anyone?) to the serious (hello, vows). Our families have been hugely supportive and very good about assuming and completing tasks, but at a certain point you fear you've begun taking advantage of your relations... On the plus side, since we have most of the major items all worked out, what remains is mainly aesthetic. Aside from the music... And the liquor... (Read: the Party).

So anyway, I will keep you posted on how things turn out. This week I've been waylaid by a kidney infection, mountains of Work-work, and the planning of our benefit bachelor/ette party. I've made some progress on a few of the little wedding details, and with any luck I'll make great progress on a few more over the long weekend.

Nonetheless, if you know of anyone who is a keen fan of folding laundry....
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There's No Place Like Home

Back from a terrific week at Camp Dreamcatcher, and another four stimulating days at an HIV prevention conference in Atlanta. In the last two weeks I've used nearly every piece of luggage I own, and two days after my return they are still scattered around the house, semi-unpacked. Tomorrow will involve sleeping in, watching ridiculous amounts of TV, grocery shopping, looking after our neighbor's cats, and unpacking. Nothing else. The more being a shlub I can pull off, the better.

This pic is of me and Adam at the big dance last Wednesday. The dance is a Very Big Deal at camp, and my girls were talking dates and outfits and drama from the moment of their arrival. Adam and I agreed to be each other's dates, but then he didn't even ask me to dance. And there were multiple slow songs, plenty of opportunity!

In fact, the little boy who took this picture of us did ask me to dance. And not only did he ask me to dance, he privately told Adam that he was going to steal me away from him. Ahem. Well, the kid was a good dancer, but Adam is much taller. And he treats me right. :)
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Friday Comic Blogging

Aaaannnnnd we're back! I must post my collection of wedding-themed comics, and cross items off the To Do List! Thankfully, only one more work trip scheduled before the wedding, which means that I am now all wedding, all the time. Heaven help us.
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Three Rings


Drat! I finally picked out Adam's wedding band -- I learned his size and exacting preferences, identified a suitable vendor, thought of just what I wanted to engrave on the inside -- aaaaaannnnnddd..... if I bought the ring today, it would arrive while we were on vacation and no one would be around to sign for it. Guess I'll order it when we're back from camp, and I'll post about our rings then.

In the meantime, enjoy this image from Silhouette Masterpiece Theatre. I love this guy's works!
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Indexed

Here are a few items from a great blog called Indexed...
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Lost Generation



Clever... but only if you watch the whole thing...
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Friday Wedding Humor

So things have been super busy lately, making posting a little more difficult. As I said last week, the wedding To Do list is frightening. We do have a few new developments though -- we booked our photographer (the uber talented JJ Tiziou), ordered a cake topper, my wedding dress arrived to Adam's parents' house, and we figured out our non-numeric table identification system. Now all that is left is everything else!

We're beginning to get RSVPs, which is quite exciting -- it's hard to believe that the wedding is only two months away! The online survey form we created has some short answer questions, and it's been great reading our guests' responses -- which have ranged from touching, to amusing, to downright scandalous. Adam is working on a slide show for the cocktail hour, and the original plan had been to interweave the responses in with the pictures... clearly, this plan may need amending (for the record, we love our friends and their twisted minds).

Here are our goals/activities for the next week:
  1. Pick out and order Adam's wedding ring
  2. Finalize wedding vows, and order Quaker-style wedding certificate
  3. Frederick, MD outing: Check out a couple Frederick-area wineries for the wedding weekend, purchase some Brewer's Alley beer to taste-test, try a new restaurant, and give the caterer her deposit.
Current thought: Wow, it's really all happening!
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TGIF

Clearly we have a lot of work to do on our vows... ;-)

We snuck off tonight for a decadent, carb-heavy dinner at Rustico in Alexandria, Virginia. Rustico is known for its amazing beer list, which includes 30 taps and more than 300 bottled beers and ciders. Along the way, we discovered a promising new brewery from Quebec: Le Trou du Diable. We tried a couple of their brews, the Weizgripp Doppelweizenbock and a smoked beer called La Consumation. Both yummy.

As is often the case when we get together these days, conversation turned to wedding items yet on The List. Pessimists' version: We're doomed. Optimists' version: Good thing our goal is a simple fun wedding!
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Pre-Wedding Barbecue at Pinecliff Park

On Saturday, October 10, we're having a pre-wedding barbecue at Pinecliff Park, located just off I-70 in Frederick, Maryland. We have reserved covered shelter #2, which boasts several grills, a horseshoe pit (but we need the shoes!), and plenty of lawn and playground equipment. The site is also next to a boat launch and fishing on the Monocacy river, if you'd like to bring a canoe and pole. There is even a short nature trail for birders and naturalists! Come one, come all!

Who: You, hopefully! We would love to see your family and friends too.

When: 3pm till nightfall


Where: 8350 Pinecliff Park Road, Frederick, MD 21704 (click to open Google Map)

Adam and Jenny will supply hamburgers, hot dogs, plates and silverware. It would be helpful if others brought salad(s), drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic), fruit or desserts to share. If everyone brings enough food for themselves plus four, no one will go hungry. You can leave a comment below describing what you're planning to bring.

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Practically Friday Comic Blogging

Pearls Before Swine
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Camp Dreamcatcher

As many of you know, each summer Adam and I volunteer as camp counselors at Camp Dreamcatcher, a summer camp for kids infected or affected by HIV. It's definitely one of the most rewarding things that we do each year, even as it is one of the most challenging (and hilarious and exhausting and fun). Still, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Today we got our cabin assignments, and my anticipation for the first day of camp is overwhelming (i.e., I had already started buying gifts for my girls, coming up with cabin themes, and making my packing list a few weeks ago). Adam is going to be heading a cabin of 12-year-old boys, and I'll have my hands full with a new group of 14-year-old girls. Too much fun!

Camp Dreamcatcher is a special place, not least of which because it offers a safe space for children struggling with hard issues to just be kids. This year, Camp
Dreamcatcher is putting out a special call for donations for Bow
, a 14-year-old girl from Thailand who suffers from HIV and debilitating facial deformities. She has the opportunity to return to camp this year and then have reconstructive facial surgery in Texas... provided that we can raise $40,000 to cover her medical bills. Please watch the video below and get to know Bow. If you can donate to help out Bow or support Camp Dreamcatcher, that would be amazing.



Bow came to Camp Dreamcatcher as a result of a serendipitous turn of events. Two summers ago, documentary filmmakers came to camp to paint a portrait of AIDS orphans in the United States. They had already been to orphanages in Uganda, Brazil, and Thailand, and then they chose to spend the week with us at Camp Dreamcatcher. The director, Robert Corna, and the videographer, Renzo Spirit Buffalo, made fast friends of campers as they filmed Tiny Tears. Then, last summer, one child from each orphanage was sponsored to come to the United States to attend Camp Dreamcatcher. Talk about a golden ticket!

Jethro, the boy from Uganda (in the orange shirt), was in Adam's cabin last year. Adam can tell you great stories of the cross-cultural exchange. With any luck, one of these days we'll be able to go visit him in Uganda!
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Judging An Invite By Its Cover

The wedding invitations are almost done! It's been a process, but I'm really excited to be putting them in the mail on Monday. I had a bit of a crisis addressing them, once I realized that my handwriting was no good and not likely to improve (see image at right). I'd long been told (and believed) that it was important to address wedding invitations by hand, because a hand written invitation was a signal to guests that you cared about them. Indeed, a piece of correspondence with a printed label was as good as junk mail.

As I practiced writing lines, I remembered the time I got my first 'C' in school... in third grade... in handwriting. That 'C' stung. Later, in high school, I would go on to earn an 'A' in keyboarding. Really, keyboarding is where it's at for me, and it was time that I owned that.

I called my stepmother and asked for absolution for what I was about to do. Then I called Adam's parents and asked for their help. We headed over to their home and got to work. Adam and his mother carefully assembled the invitations, gluing a brown backing onto the invitation to give it more heft and style. Meanwhile, Adam's father and I set about printing our guests' addresses on the envelopes. It was a good night. Looking at the finished, printed envelopes... I regret nothing.

When Adam and I got home, we began sorting the large collection of vintage stamps I'd purchased on eBay and others that my mother contributed, trying to find combinations that were either aesthetically pleasing or relevant to our guests. I've spent a quiet Saturday affixing the stamps to envelopes using rubber cement. It's been really pleasant, both for the opportunity to dig through these relics of postal history, and to meditate on the interests and personal histories of each of our guests. In the picture to the left, you can see how the fully assembled invitations look.

These invitations were very much a family affair; in fact, every single person in both of our immediate families contributed to their design and execution. I'm so grateful to them, and very happy with the result.
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Surprise Wedding Reception



How great is this? Anyone want to take over reception planning for us? Ideally our friends and loved ones? :)

This is definitely a more altruistic endeavor than Improv Everywhere's annual No Pants Subway Ride...
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Another Awesome Wedding Music Video

Fresh Hubby of LA from Digital Princess Productions on Vimeo.

Props to the couple for paying homage to the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff stylins'...

On our wedding front, things are moving forward slowly but surely. My parents took my wedding dress to the shop to be cleaned and prepped and sent to Adam's parents' house (!!!). The invites have arrived from the printer and look good, but I still need to address them and then Adam and I will work together to stamp them (using the vintage stamps again, and customizing them to recipients where possible). We've been talking music and logistics, photography and rehearsal luncheon. All TBD. We're giving ourselves a deadline of next Sunday for a number of projects:
  1. Getting the invitations in the mail
  2. Writing our vows
  3. Ordering our hand calligraphed wedding certificate
Wish us luck! Yesterday was 3 months to W-Day!
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The Country of Marriage, by Wendell Berry

I.

I dream of you walking at night along the streams
of the country of my birth, warm blooms and the nightsongs
of birds opening around you as you walk.
You are holding in your body the dark seed of my sleep.

II.

This comes after silence. Was it something I said
that bound me to you, some mere promise
or, worse, the fear of loneliness and death?
A man lost in the woods in the dark, I stood
still and said nothing. And then there rose in me,
like the earth's empowering brew rising
in root and branch, the words of a dream of you
I did not know I had dreamed. I was a wanderer
who feels the solace of his native land
under his feet again and moving in his blood.
I went on, blind and faithful. Where I stepped
my track was there to steady me. It was no abyss
that lay before me, but only the level ground.

III.

Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the light to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in.

IV.

How many times have I come to you out of my head
with joy, if ever a man was,
for to approach you I have given up the light
and all directions. I come to you
lost, wholly trusting as a man who goes
into the forest unarmed. It is as though I descend
slowly earthward out of the air. I rest in peace
in you, when I arrive at last.

V.

Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange
of my love and work for yours, so much for so much
of an expendable fund. We don't know what its limits are--
that puts us in the dark. We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.
Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing
a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only
accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light
enough to live, and then accepts the dark,
passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I
have fallen tine and again from the great strength
of my desire, helpless, into your arms.

VI.

What I am learning to give you is my death
to set you free of me, and me from myself
into the dark and the new light. Like the water
of a deep stream, love is always too much. We
did not make it. Though we drink till we burst
we cannot have it all, or want it all.
In its abundance it survives our thirst.
In the evening we come down to the shore
to drink our fill, and sleep, while it
flows through the regions of the dark.
It does not hold us, except we keep returning
to its rich waters thirsty. We enter,
willing to die, into the commonwealth of its joy.

VII.

I give you what is unbounded, passing from dark to dark,
containing darkness: a night of rain, an early morning.
I give you the life I have let live for the love of you:
a clump of orange-blooming weeds beside the road,
the young orchard waiting in the snow, our own life
that we have planted in the ground, as I
have planted mine in you. I give you my love for all
beautiful and honest women that you gather to yourself
again and again, and satisfy--and this poem,
no more mine than any man's who has loved a woman.
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Musical Interlude


Definitely feeling escapist today... I think Adam and I are both very much looking forward to the being married part of getting married. This song reminds me of some of our recent conversations...
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Our Wedding Ceremony

One of the things we have struggled with through the planning process has been the structure of our wedding ceremony. We have been researching traditions from across faiths and around the world, looking for ways to structure the service both to allow broad participation of guests and to reflect the interweaving of our diverse histories. Along the way, we began hearing about unprogrammed Quaker weddings and were immediately intrigued.

In a traditional Quaker wedding, a man and woman declare their commitment to one another in a simple ceremony with their faith community as witnesses. The ceremony is strikingly different from most Western weddings, as there is no officiant, no music, no escorted processional, no wedding party, and no decorations. In addition, like a Quaker Meeting for Worship, a Quaker wedding is conducted largely in an atmosphere of silent worship. Guests may arise to share prayers or reflections as the Spirit moves them. Similarly, the couple arise to exchange their promises to one another when they are so moved and they marry themselves. The couple then signs the Quaker Marriage Certificate, and after the worship the guests also sign the certificate as witnesses to the union.

The simplicity of Quaker weddings and the opportunities for the community to participate in the ceremony held strong appeal for Adam and me, and so we decided to use them as an inspiration. While most of our ceremony will look familiar to our guests, there will be a period of quiet meditation and worship, during which time we invite guests who are so inclined to share a joyful or solemn prayer, poem, song or reflection for the occasion. Periods of silence between contributions are expected and desired, and guests should not feel compelled to speak. We will take our vows and exchange rings at the conclusion of the unprogrammed portion.

Although we're a little nervous about (un)structuring our ceremony, we also welcome the opportunity to let our guests write the program, and we relish the potential for surprise and wonder. Plus, the thought of sitting outdoors in happy silence with one hundred of the people we love best in the world just fills my heart with joy.

Again, we encourage our guests to participate in our wedding day. If you have any special poems or readings you would like to share, please bring them along. If the thought of public speaking fills you with dread, however, your quiet presence and support is also cherished.
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Bathroom Meditation


Adam shows me the dangerous places my blue and white china obsession can lead...
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Friday Comic Blogging


Yes, our next project is to work on our vows. Heaven help us.
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Order! Order!

Whew! The invites have been ordered! Now I get to spend the holiday weekend anxiously awaiting their arrival from the printers. We are having them printed through an online print shop, and so I'm really nervous because I don't know how they'll turn out. Well, I hope! To the left you have a glimpse of the image we had printed -- with any luck the colors will be true and it won't look cheesy. (Please, oh please, don't look cheesy!!) This whole process is definitely stressful, and I have to keep reminding myself that pretty much everyone but our parents and Adam and me will be tossing their invites into the trash on October 12, so I shouldn't sweat it. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

Like the Save-the-Dates, this invitation is a collaborative effort from my talented family. My father did the illustrations, all of us worked to pick out our favorite fonts and tweak the text, and my brother scanned the images, re-colored them, and put all the graphic layers together. If nothing else, it makes me really happy that our invites are so personal to us. Ok, keep your fingers crossed that there are no problems with the order!
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Sermon on Love

Feeling in a contemplative mood, I decided to listen to some old sermons from All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church in Washington, DC (to learn a little about this church's unique place in American history, click here). This sermon was written by Reverend Hardies, and presented at All Souls on Sunday, December 2, 2007.

Loving Over the Years (click for audio): Learning to love for the long haul is a spiritual discipline. How do we do it? What are its rewards? (for a transcript, click here)

I love the poem that the Reverend uses to open the service, the way it highlights the the spaces between the marriage milestones (the journey over the destination, if you will). Adam and I have talked a lot lately about those spaces in between, when you go through the motions of living and learning and loving and struggling, especially as we try to plan a wedding and prepare for a marriage. This is a time when we have to remind ourselves to take a step back and enjoy the process, because we only get to lay this foundation once. Meanwhile, our day to day wedding planning lives have been consumed by the minor tragedy of soon-to-be-expired gourmet potato chips bought in bulk (yea, I know) and the enormity of writing our commitment vows.

In any case, if you are so inclined I hope you'll check out the sermon and share your thoughts.
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Something Old, Something New

This post is just to pass on some interesting reading... Adam and I have begun discussing our wedding ceremony and the traditions we want to incorporate and those we want to leave aside (more posts and explanations forthcoming). It's made for good conversation and an interesting glance through history -- for a great feminist take on the historical origins of some of the most popular wedding traditions, click here. As far as the traditions discussed in that article, here is a preview of our take on 'em:
  1. White Wedding Dress: My dress is in the "white" family...
  2. Giving Away the Bride: Keeping it. Frankly, I don't want to walk the aisle alone, and I like my dad.
  3. Wedding Party: Yep. But they get to ward off evil spirits while wearing their own clothes.
  4. Garter and Bouquet Toss: Running away screaming from this one.
  5. Something Old, Something New: This is sweet ~ keeping it. There is some debate about what constitutes "old," however.
  6. Wedding Cake Smash: I'll spare you the mystery -- no way is Adam ruining my makeup with baked goods. We're not cutting any cupcakes either, per Adam's request.
  7. Eating Leftover Wedding Cake: Not happening, despite what you may suspect based on our fridge. Here is the life cycle of food in our home: first week, edible; second week, eaten if it was really amazingly good during the first week and still passes the smell test; third-fifteenth weeks, not touched until the next time one of us folds and actually tosses the offending food item into the trash. I see no reason to subject one of our wedding cupcakes to that.
  8. Throwing Rice: Keeping it? I suppose this is something left to be planned. Birdseed, maybe? Does one do this after the ceremony, or after the reception? Seems pretty pointless to toss birdseed in the dark -- by that measure, it would be better to toss live mice for the owls, and I just don't want to go there.
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Friday Wedding Comic

I am reminded of Master Yoda...
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The World Is Our Oyster

But where to go for a honeymoon? Perhaps Europe, as Adam has never been? We have about six days -- where is a great, accessible place to go in that time period?
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Marital Advice from the Shower

"Laugh. Laugh loud. Laugh often. Laugh with each other. Sometimes laugh 'at' each other. Remember how good it makes your heart feel just because he loves you!!" Toni

"Give a lot, laugh a lot, love a lot. My advice is to forgive if the other does something that is not what you would do. Men think and do different than women -- totally opposite -- find out who he really is! Have lots of fun sex, be creative. Pray together, love each other." Bonnie

"Compromise, compromise, compromise. Do not always think your way is the only way. Men rarely read directions, but the longer you've been together the more they realize they should have!!" Tracy

"Relax on your wedding day. Everyone will worry for you and make sure it goes smoothly. Always kiss each other when you go to bed at night, even if you're fighting. Sometimes you have to lead him, but while making him think he's leading. Most men can't multitask, so don't get mad if he forgets something you asked of him." Darla

"Remember to fulfill at least one of your husband's fantasies every two years." Nancy

"1. Be aware that you two are not joined at the hip. You each need your own space. 2. No jealousy ever. Trust is a must. 3. Respect his privacy as he should respect yours." Gramma Nita

"Don't contradict your husband." Dad

"Try and remember what first made you fall in love and when things get tough you may find there are times when you may not like each other but you will always love each other. Agree to disagree and move on. Don't go to bed mad. Hugs and kisses are the best!" Pam

"Put out!" Jon (my brother)

"Say 'love you' often. Hug and kiss every day. Tell him thank you whenever he does something for you."

"Think before you speak. Don't start a sentence 'you did this, you did that.' Say, 'I feel,' not 'you.' Treat him the way you would want to be treated." Cheri

"Never end the day mad at each other. Don't go to bed mad. After all, will it matter ten days or years from now?" Barb

"Always appreciate you. Be quick to forgive. Gratitude. Go for long strolls by yourself... Hug often... he feels good. Say thank you. Be comfortable." Linda

"Always tell him you love him when he leaves in the morning and when you go to bed at night. You never know if it will be the last time you see each other. Remember, you can never change a person. They'll always be the way they are." Pat

"Tom and I have found that being best friends is truly the way. Remaining best friends means communication, trust and honesty! Love never fails! Love is patient, kind, it does not envy or boast!" Sarah

"Play nice." Judy

"Look beyond." Janie

"Work as a team." Michele

"Call your father for good advice -- no matter what Toni says." Dad

"You must leave your kids with grandma and go on short vacations --only the two of you-- twice a year!" Mom
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My Fabulous Bridal Shower

Just wanted to share some pictures from my terrific bridal shower this weekend. My stepmother Toni put the event together with her girlfriends, and they did a remarkable job. It went so far beyond my wildest expectations, and I had a really wonderful time. I laughed, I cried, I ate a lot of carbohydrates -- all in all, I felt really blessed.

This is me after I got my hair and makeup did -- Toni kicked me out of the house and sent me to her beauty shop so I wouldn't be in the way while she set everything up (and so it would all remain a surprise).

Before the party, my dad and Adam were challenged to fill out a questionnaire to show how well they knew me... My brother Jon stood in for Adam and read his answers aloud. Turns out that Adam and my father were tied, and they only got half the questions right! Most horrifying right answer: farting, because it reverberated. Neither my dad nor Adam got that one right... (I'll leave you to imagine the question.)

The bridal shower, from my father and brother's perspective... Guests received their lemon-drop martinis in souvenir glasses with their names and yellow roses hand-painted on them. Each martini glass was unique and gorgeous, and made for beautiful (and practical!) favors.

The amazing loot. I had let it drop that I dreamed of starting a collection of mismatched cobalt and white china, and Toni ran with that as a theme of the party. Each guest scoured garage sales and antique shops to contribute a dish. We're writing their names on the back of them, so I will always know who gave me the plate and when. What a beautiful idea, and what a happy memory!

The heroes of the evening.... My father Gregg, and my talented stepmother Toni. (Forgive my dad's grin -- he can't help but make that face when a camera is trained on him.)

Click here to see my brother's pictures from the day.
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Faux Down Home


It's wedding season, and the New York Times is doing their part by reporting on the latest wedding trend, the down-home wedding (Could this really be considered new? It seems too common to even be retro -- witness receptions that are being held and have been held in living rooms and church basements across the country, for as long as this country has been around). The gist of the article is that people like comfort food and homey environments, and they're willing to pay a pretty penny for it.

But authenticity, it seems, comes at a price.

Does this mean that people who don't get married outside and who serve haute cuisine are having inauthentic weddings? I thought the whole point of a wedding (the celebration, not the act of marrying) was to have a social event that reflects the tastes and interests of the bride and groom, their family, and their friends. Or am I naive? Why is the Times even documenting the elaborate stagecraft that some couples are manufacturing to appear of simple means and desires? Why not write about the very clever things couples are doing to fight against the Wedding Industrial Complex and live within their means?

I found the article pretty irritating, not least of which because we're working on having an unfussy wedding, with good food and a relaxed atmosphere---because that's a reflection of who we are and what we like. For the record, while it is possible to do faux casual and spend a fortune, our wedding budget is more Hyundai than Land Rover and I'm happy about that. And yes, I'm sure our wedding will be "authentic" and lovely.
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4 Months Till the Wedding!


No pressure... Eek!
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Saturday Barbecue Site Found!

One of the things that is really important to me is having the opportunity to spend time with our family and friends over the wedding weekend. For that reason, we're planning a series of optional weekend events that should allow people to hang out, get to know each other, and enjoy the area. One of the major weekend events is the Saturday afternoon barbecue/picnic. Originally we had planned for the barbecue to take place at Cunningham Falls State Park, since it's pretty and there's a nice hike up to the falls that some could attempt while others were cooking or playing games by the lake. Unfortunately, there weren't any covered pavilions of the appropriate size, and we didn't want to chance an uncovered picnic site (even if October is the driest month of the year).

Adam did a lot of research on county and state parks in the area, and made a list of four finalists. We decided to make a date of it, and drove out to Frederick to check them out. It was a beautiful summer day, sunny and lush. The parks were spread out across Frederick County, and we drove through miles of farm land and suburban sprawl. We eliminated the first three parks that we checked out because they seemed pretty blah -- soccer fields and a pavilion, and not a whole lot else. The fourth and final park we visited, Pinecliff Park, thankfully turned out to be a winner. It's pretty, and each pavilion offers horseshoe pits and a variety of other recreation options like playgrounds or volleyball nets. There's even a short nature trail, and fishing in the river (no swimming, alas). In the winter, at one end of the park there's a swampy area that apparently converts to a skating pond and on the other there's a steep hill that is an established sledding run (how cool is that?). While the mosquitoes were a nightmare next to swamp, I did spot a new bird for my life list -- two green herons were there gobbling minnows. Never fear, we chose a pavilion away from the swamp and mosquitoes.

I think it will be an ideal spot for a Saturday picnic. Our site is actually right on the Monocacy river, so I'm debating (read: trying to persuade others to go along with...) renting canoes for an optional mid-afternoon canoe ride ending at our picnic site. This may be a planning nightmare, however, so I'm a little worried it won't work out (though this might be for the best if I am to have any prayer of maintaining a manicure...).

P.S. Click on the pic if you'd like to learn how to make your own portable picnic case...
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If Only It Were That Easy...

Pearls Before Swine
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To Do List Mode

One of Adam's favorite parts of my personality is my To Do List Mode (TDLM) -- when most of my social graces fall by the wayside and my energy and attention is consumed with crossing items off of The List. TDLM can strike during a particularly harried period at work, before a trip out of town, and whilst planning a wedding. I fear that we are about to enter the next phase of TDLM, Wedding Planning Edition.

Right after we got engaged we were naturally consumed with finding a venue, setting a date, and just generally getting the lay of the wedding planning land. During this time we managed also to find a caterer, develop a wedding website, have a tasting, and, thanks to my lovely ladies in Seattle, even find a wedding dress. The save-the-dates were created and sent out to family and out-of-town friends, and then we had several months of nada. Doing nothing is of course one of my favorite activities of all time, and doing nothing on the wedding planning front is grand. Sadly, it's dawned on us that instead of still having practically a year to plan this thing, we now have just over 4 months. Yes, TDLM, here we come!

This week I have managed to reserve the bus at the bus company, so that our beloved (drunken) friends and family do not need to drive the winding roads out to/from ThorpeWood. Adam is going to work on our vows, the text for a Quaker Wedding Certificate, and getting a picnic area reserved for the Saturday barbecue before the wedding. Adam's parents are playing with ideas for ceremony decor. His mother and I went to the fabric store and bought fabric to cut for the squares under the centerpieces. My stepmother Toni is planning my bridal shower in Seattle, about which I am to know no details (aside from when to show up). I am working on invitations with my dad. He created a couple prototypes a few weeks ago and is busy at work on the final design, while I will be experimenting with fonts and layout for the invitation itself. I spent a few hours downloading fonts this week, and with any luck one of them will work out.

Hm. So things are moving forward, but there are a lot of details yet to be worked out. I feel that I am perpetually with a To Do List Item on the tip of my tongue. Beware of asking me how the wedding planning is going lest you be grilled endlessly for your opinion, or get roped into helping me with a DIY something or other. TDLM: You have been warned.
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Wedding Music Video. Awesome.

Brian & Eileen's Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects on Vimeo.

Wow. The creativity and vision of some couples just takes my breath away. Love, love, love what they did, and I'm so impressed with the high quality execution of the concept. I think one of the best things is that it looks like the wedding was a blast to attend too! Can I make friends with this couple? I want them in my life.

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Houston, We Have a Problem.



How am I ever going to pull off looking svelte in a wedding dress when I'm working 15 hours a day on a grant proposal, and we have had a giant chocolate sheet cake sitting in the kitchen outside of my office since Monday?

ADDENDUM: Solution?
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Stand By Me


Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Ok, so once again I'm posting a not-technically-wedding-related video, but I just had to share it because it is pretty heartwarming. It was a good day for music for me: on the drive to work I teared up at the strains of Beethoven's 7th, 2nd movement; then I was introduced to the terrific Susan Boyle for the first time (and openly wept); and then finally I saw this video of musicians around the world making music together (and grinned like a fool). I find the mission of the Playing for Change movement to be just really wonderful and even romantic, and so I'm glad to draw attention to projects such as this.

Thanks to Parker (via Alistair) for passing this on.
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Fifties Illustrations

A few people have asked me about the illustrations that I've used on our wedding website, so I thought I would write a little about where I found them and why I've used them. The short answer is that I really love advertising art; when I was a kid I used to scour magazines for the pop art Absolut vodka ads and the vintage photograph-style Virginia Slims cigarette ad series (booze and cigarettes -- my parents must have been so proud). Later I collected vintage advertising postcards, and decorated my apartment with Spanish tourism posters from the thirties and forties.

When it came to building our wedding website, I wanted to avoid having pictures of me and Adam on every page, and so I began playing with inserting different pieces of art we enjoy. I put in some Rothko for Adam and some Chagall for me but, in the end, it all felt a little disjointed. Not visually harmonious at all.

I came across this image by Haddon Sundblom one day and fell in love; it perfectly captured the mood and ambience that I hoped to find in our wedding weekend celebration. I began searching for more and similar works by Sundblom (most famous for the Coca Cola Santas), John Gannam, and any other illustrator from the forties or fifties that I could find. Google Image Search helped me identify other artists and images that were suitable for the website. One great site with an enormous collection of vintage ads is Plan 59, and print reproductions of these images are available for purchase. I have plans to hang some of these on the walls of our first home...

If you are interested in this type of art, I’m a big fan of the illustration blog Today's Inspiration, and I peruse its pages every now and then for a bit of aesthetic education. I highly recommend reading this site -- the images are gorgeous, and the author provides really terrific analysis and description of the artists' work, education, and influence on the field. No doubt, it is Inspiration-al (ba-dum-bum).
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The Perils of Being Socially Responsible

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And they're off!

Adam and I had fun this weekend addressing and stamping the save-the-date postcards with his parents. It was a long process that turned into a two-day event. We're using vintage stamps that I found on eBay for all our mailings, which has resulted in hours of fun sorting through the different images and thinking of friends that they would be perfect for. For postcards, this was quite tricky as we could only use 2-3 stamps per card and the values needed to add up to at least 27 cents.

Memo to self: Order large envelopes for the actual invitations.

Our save-the-dates are intended to be casual little announcements of our upcoming nuptials; for example, in the design we used a handwriting font, and my name is listed as "Jenny" rather than "Jennifer." Still, when it came time to addressing the cards themselves we were stymied. Would older relatives or amateur etiquette coaches be offended if we addressed them without a Mr. or Mrs.? Should we list Bills as Williams, or include the names of children? Does it matter what gender order we use for couples? What do we do when a wife's last name is a hyphenate?

In the end we opted for informal, and hopefully no one is deeply offended (if they are, just wait till they hear about the online RSVPs!). In the meantime, we're clearly going to have to read up on the ins and outs of proper salutations on invitations...
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Opposites Attract?

A new study suggests that while people claim to want to find their opposite in a partner, in reality they prefer mates who are more like them than different. Strength of preference for specific traits differed along gender lines:

"The study also found that in addition to looking for a similar partner, women wanted men who were conscientious, outgoing, and emotionally stable, all traits that indicate an investment in the relationship and in any potential children."

Conversely, men didn't evince a preference for any particular traits in women. I'll leave that to you to figure out what that indicates.

All in all, nothing in the reported study results seems too surprising, but I'm in a reflective mood about relationships so I found it interesting nonetheless. I do think that Adam and I share many interests, traits and fundamental values, and perhaps for that reason he felt familiar to me from the start. At the same time, the ways in which we are "opposites" have always felt like opportunities for learning and growth. Speaking shallowly, Adam has quite a lot to teach me about sports and grilling. More profoundly, I think I value certain traits that he possesses in spades next to me. These include his desire to understand the natures and motivations of the people with whom he interacts, the wisdom he shows in utilizing that understanding before acting, and his consistent consideration of the needs and feelings of those around him. I'm a lucky girl.

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Good Thing I'm a Lousy Knitter

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Centerpieces? Check!

The ideas for our centerpieces are coming together slowly but surely. One day during my vacation, my parents surprised me by putting together a mock-up of our centerpieces while I was out. They made this table concept based on ideas I'd been tossing around: stacks of books, LED tea lights (no open flames allowed at ThorpeWood), fall colors, bookmarks, pictures of my great great grandfather and quilting fabrics. Apparently they had a lot of fun playing with my casually mentioned possibilities, and they spent the afternoon trying everything from drilling through books and small logs (I kid you not) to creating sample bookmark wedding favors out of recycled manila folders.

When I walked through the door they pulled me into the dining room to show me their efforts, unsure of whether or not I would approve. They seemed surprised to find out that I loved what they had done, but oh did I! Even though some of the specific elements still need to be decided, purchased, found or created, we have a concept. It's not a traditional centerpiece, but it's personal to us and both of our families will be involved in the execution of this concept. What could be better?
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We've Got Save-the-Dates!

One of the primary missions of my recent trip to Seattle (aside from spending some quality time with my family) was working on our wedding paper products. Early on, I had a little fantasy that my dad would contribute some of his art to the wedding project. When I was a child, there were few things I loved more than watching him draw. He could draw any person, place, or thing I could think of, and I would exclaim over what I liked and loudly protest what I didn't. During family vacations, then and still now, my dad sits at the picnic table with his art supplies and illustrates our adventures of the day. I've always been tickled that I have a cartoon character that is me, even if the portrayal hasn't always been the most flattering (ahem).

Above is an image of our save-the-date postcard. I had asked my dad to draw a colorful picture of fall trees, with a relatively simple design. I confess part of me felt like a kid on vacation again watching him experiment with different ideas. He created the image of the trees with fountain pen and water colors, and my task mistress stepmother called us throughout the day from work to make sure that we were actually working on the invites and not goofing off (we worked out a balance). Later, my tech maven brother scanned the final design and helped me get the text sorted out, and my sister-in-law, a wedding planner in the making, gave final design approval.

Adam and I are sending these save-the-dates to our out-of-town family and friends so that they can make their travel arrangements in good time. The neurotic in me with the color-coded Outlook calendar and items scheduled eight months in advance appreciates this new nuptial tradition, but I confess to dreading trying to maintain neat handwriting on the addresses. Thankfully, Adam's mother has generously offered to help me address the postcards this weekend. Whew!
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Wedding Dress Shopping

This week I came to Seattle to work on some wedding planning details with my parents, and it's been great. On Friday I went on a marathon wedding dress shopping spree with my two moms, my godmother, my sister-in-law, and my aunt. They were tireless. They gleefully pulled dress after dress from the racks, and I dutifully tried on each and every one. Sometimes three times, just to be sure. We went to four bridal shops (three of them actually open), and I'm sure I tried on forty dresses. I was a princess, a Hollywood diva, a Spanish flamenco dancer, a Greek goddess... My head was spinning, and at a certain point even shutting the dressing room door seemed futile.

I tried on so many beautiful gowns, and I was torn because I knew I would have been very happy marrying in several of them. I felt paralyzed by indecision. Choosing Adam for a husband was a no-brainer, but picking the wedding dress was going to give me an ulcer.

Around 6:30pm we broke for martinis, a welcome relief. It was great to have spent the day with my ladies, but I wanted to sleep on the dress decision.

Sleeping on it lasted till about 5:30am, when I gave up on the bed and opted for lifting weights and speed-walking on the treadmill. I had one dress that I just kept coming back to in my imagination, but I needed to be sure. My very indulgent father and stepmother went back to the bridal shop with me on Saturday morning when the store opened, and we bought the dress that woke *me* up at dawn.

So I feel really good. I got to show the dress off some for my family at my dad's birthday party, and I got to spend some time with it over the weekend. We bonded. Now it is safely hidden away in my parents' closet, and so I offer you a glimpse of my father's interpretation of me as a bride in the image above. We wanted Adam to have a picture of me in "my dress"...

Did I mention my dad is a part-time cartoonist?
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ThorpeWood in Winter

I finally posted pictures of ThorpeWood so that people can get a sense of what our beautiful venue is like! These pics were taken over three different visits to the site, during three very different weather systems: pouring down rain, after an ice storm, after a snow... I can't wait to see what it's like with the fall foliage in bloom!

Here we have Adam practicing walking down the aisle in the "Pine Cathedral." We're pretty sold on this spot for the ceremony, although we have our choice of anywhere on ThorpeWood's 155-acre property. I like the Pine Cathedral for several reasons, not least of which that the seating is already built so we won't have to rent chairs. Plus, it's so beautiful and serene that just being there uplifts the spirit.
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Newer Posts Older Posts Home

October 11, 2009

  • About
      Wedding planning is overwhelming. Jenny put together this blog as a way to let off steam, and give parents and guests a window into the planning process. If you're the type of person who enjoys DVD extras and director commentaries, then this is the blog for you. For the rest of you, this might be like seeing how sausage is made!
  • Blog Archive

    • ▼  2009 (67)
      • ▼  October (2)
        • Animoto.com
        • Our Wedding Photos!!!
      • ►  September (9)
        • We've Got a Honeymoon!
        • You shoulda put a ring on it!
        • You Saw It Here First
        • Foliage Watch
        • Wedding Dress Anxiety
        • Making Use of Adam's Wingspan at ThorpeWood
        • Exactly One Month Till W-Day!
        • We've Got Wedding Rings!
        • The Laundry List
      • ►  August (6)
        • There's No Place Like Home
        • Friday Comic Blogging
        • Three Rings
        • Indexed
        • Lost Generation
        • Friday Wedding Humor
      • ►  July (13)
        • TGIF
        • Pre-Wedding Barbecue at Pinecliff Park
        • Practically Friday Comic Blogging
        • Camp Dreamcatcher
        • Judging An Invite By Its Cover
        • Surprise Wedding Reception
        • Another Awesome Wedding Music Video
        • The Country of Marriage, by Wendell Berry
        • Musical Interlude
        • Our Wedding Ceremony
        • Bathroom Meditation
        • Friday Comic Blogging
        • Order! Order!
      • ►  June (10)
        • Sermon on Love
        • Something Old, Something New
        • Friday Wedding Comic
        • The World Is Our Oyster
        • Marital Advice from the Shower
        • My Fabulous Bridal Shower
        • Faux Down Home
        • 4 Months Till the Wedding!
        • Saturday Barbecue Site Found!
        • If Only It Were That Easy...
      • ►  May (2)
        • To Do List Mode
        • Wedding Music Video. Awesome.
      • ►  April (4)
        • Houston, We Have a Problem.
        • Stand By Me
        • Fifties Illustrations
        • The Perils of Being Socially Responsible
      • ►  March (7)
        • And they're off!
        • Opposites Attract?
        • Good Thing I'm a Lousy Knitter
        • Centerpieces? Check!
        • We've Got Save-the-Dates!
        • Wedding Dress Shopping
        • ThorpeWood in Winter
      • ►  February (12)
      • ►  January (2)
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