In a traditional Quaker wedding, a man and woman declare their commitment to one another in a simple ceremony with their faith community as witnesses. The ceremony is strikingly different from most Western weddings, as there is no officiant, no music, no escorted processional, no wedding party, and no decorations. In addition, like a Quaker Meeting for Worship, a Quaker wedding is conducted largely in an atmosphere of silent worship. Guests may arise to share prayers or reflections as the Spirit moves them. Similarly, the couple arise to exchange their promises to one another when they are so moved and they marry themselves. The couple then signs the Quaker Marriage Certificate, and after the worship the guests also sign the certificate as witnesses to the union.
The simplicity of Quaker weddings and the opportunities for the community to participate in the ceremony held strong appeal for Adam and me, and so we decided to use them as an inspiration. While most of our ceremony will look familiar to our guests, there will be a period of quiet meditation and worship, during which time we invite guests who are so inclined to share a joyful or solemn prayer, poem, song or reflection for the occasion. Periods of silence between contributions are expected and desired, and guests should not feel compelled to speak. We will take our vows and exchange rings at the conclusion of the unprogrammed portion.
Although we're a little nervous about (un)structuring our ceremony, we also welcome the opportunity to let our guests write the program, and we relish the potential for surprise and wonder. Plus, the thought of sitting outdoors in happy silence with one hundred of the people we love best in the world just fills my heart with joy.
Again, we encourage our guests to participate in our wedding day. If you have any special poems or readings you would like to share, please bring them along. If the thought of public speaking fills you with dread, however, your quiet presence and support is also cherished.
Post a Comment